You don't need to get dressed up for this one, folks - they're all right here on The Trunk. So, without further ado, let's get stuck in!
Best Publication
We had a lot of contenders for this category. The BEM Facebook page was frontrunner for a while, and several high-profile press releases almost got through, but, by popular demand, we're delighted to announce that this award goes to The Trunk!
brrrrrt
That's right! After much deliberation and some light bribery from Huw, the committee decided that The Trunk's contribution to the label was worthy of this prestigious award. Congratulations to us!
Best Yorkshireman
This was expected to be a hotly contested category, as BEM formerly employed no fewer than two Yorkshiremen, but there has a last-minute upset: an internal inquiry has found that PR wizard James Turner, who is now based not in Yorkshire but in Bristol, is thus no longer considered a Yorkshireman by the rules. Thus, the accolade of Best Yorkshireman is awarded by default to Martin Hutchinson.
All actual photos have been lost, so this is the best we can do. ("Pregg" art by Allyson Blue-Sky.)
Congratulations, Martin! Perhaps someday, in the distant future, another Yorkshireman will rise to rival you, but it is not this day. Oh no, it is not this day.
Best Letter In The Phrase "Bad Elephant Music"
I was lucky enough to be part of the committee discussing this one, and, take it from me, those talks got pretty heated. Objects were thrown. People were thrown. One committee member, in her spirited defence of the "c" in "Music", was forcibly removed from the meeting room after she produced a guitar and launched into a spirited cover of Yes' 'Roundabout'.
But, thanks to some expert mediation from a UN conflict resolution team, we do finally have a winner, and it's something of a dark horse. Step forward, the "h" in "Elephant"!
Not the one from Steps.
Beating out critical favourites like the "a" in "Bad" and the second "e" in "Elephant", this plucky little consonant won the day with its unique cocktail of whimsy, structural integrity, and raw physical allure. Here's to many years of prosperity.
Best Vocals
Though the Tuskies, like a lot of mainstream music awards, aren't really about the music, we do like to recognize fantastic vocal performances now and again, and there were few acts this year more strident in their use of the human voice than the winner of this award. By unanimous agreement, we're pleased to present this award to Murder and Parliament!
"M-me?"
Cynics and traditionalists might expect us to give this award to an act that actually uses vocals, but it's a crazy, topsy-turvy world we live in today, and it seems only fitting that the best vocals are a total absence thereof. Congratulations are in order to Tom Slatter. (His other work was not considered for this award.)
Best Label Boss Ever
Really, this award could only have one winner. Say it with me: David Elliott.
The only photo we're cleared to use.
Long live David Elliott, our eternal CEO and saviour of the record industry, of music, of the arts as a whole. Long may he reign, his subordinates' legs unbroken and his involvement in the voting process unquestioned. All hail. All hail. All hail. You can put that baseball bat down now. All hail. All hail. All hail.
Status Update
Close to Vapour is now less than two weeks from release - preorder your copy now to make sure you get it as soon as possible. We've some more music to announce in the next couple of weeks, though, so keep your eyes peeled.
Review Roundup
Just one review this week, as Susan, aka madvinyl, at Progressive Music Planet gives us her take on A Map in Fragments: an impressive 9/10, and a simple exhortation to "go listen". Can't argue with that!
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